Cody Rhodes Neck Tattoo

I asked Microsoft CoPilot to write an essay on how awful the neck tattoo of Cody Rhodes is.  Here's what it wrote.  I didn't have to write a single word of it.  

 

The Curious Case of Cody’s Neck Tattoo: A Lamentation

1. The Inescapable Eyesore

Cody’s neck tattoo is akin to a neon sign in a dimly lit alley—it grabs your attention, but not in a good way. It’s like a permanent hiccup on an otherwise pristine canvas. Imagine a misplaced comma in a Shakespearean sonnet—jarring, disruptive, and utterly unnecessary.

2. A Brushstroke Gone Awry

Picture an artist meticulously crafting a masterpiece, only to slip and smear a blob of paint across the canvas. That’s Cody’s neck tattoo—an accidental brushstroke that defies reason. It’s as if the tattoo artist momentarily blacked out and woke up with a permanent “Oops!” etched on Cody’s skin.

3. The Unwanted Souvenir

Tattoos are often cherished mementos—a tribute to life’s milestones or personal beliefs. But Cody’s neck tattoo? It’s the equivalent of souvenir shopping at a gas station: tacky, regrettable, and destined to gather dust in the back of a drawer.

4. The “Why, Cody, Why?” Quandary

We’ve all made questionable decisions—like that ill-fated DIY haircut during quarantine. But Cody’s neck tattoo transcends mere folly; it’s a cosmic blunder. One imagines the universe collectively facepalming when the ink needle touched his skin.

5. A Conversation Starter (and Stopper)

“Hey, nice to meet you! What’s the story behind your—” Cue awkward silence. Yes, Cody’s neck tattoo is a conversation starter, but not in the way he intended. It’s the conversational equivalent of stepping on a rake—you’re momentarily stunned, and then you move on, wondering why it happened in the first place.

6. The “I Told You So” Echo

Imagine the tattoo parlor scene: Tattoo Artist: “Cody, are you sure about this?” Cody: “Absolutely! I want something bold, unforgettable.” Tattoo Artist: sighs “Okay, but just so you know, this design screams ‘permanent regret.’” And now, every time Cody looks in the mirror, that echo reverberates: “I told you so.”

7. The Wrestling World’s Collective Cringe

Wrestling fans are a passionate bunch. They cheer, they jeer, and they critique with gusto. Cody’s neck tattoo? It’s the ultimate litmus test. Show it to a room full of wrestling enthusiasts, and you’ll witness synchronized cringing—the kind usually reserved for botched finishing moves or ill-fitting spandex.

8. The “What Were You Thinking?” Enigma

Cody’s neck tattoo is like a riddle wrapped in an enigma, dipped in ink. What was he thinking? Was it a dare? A cosmic alignment of bad judgment? Perhaps he lost a bet with the universe. Whatever the reason, it remains a perplexing mystery—one that defies logic and taste.

9. The Unforgettable Reminder

Cody’s neck tattoo isn’t just ink; it’s a permanent reminder that some choices can’t be undone. It’s the equivalent of getting your ex’s name tattooed—except, in this case, the ex is “Good Taste.” Every morning, as Cody brushes his teeth, that tattoo whispers, “Remember me? You did this.”

In conclusion, Cody Rhodes’ neck tattoo is a testament to human fallibility—a cautionary tale etched in ink. Should he have NEVER gotten it? Well, hindsight is 20/20, but one thing’s for sure: it’s a conversation starter, a cosmic blunder, and an indelible mark on wrestling history.