I wonder, how oppressed would Cinderella consider herself to be if her stepmother and stepsisters still held household authority over her, but forced her to do little or no chores, and she spent most of her time playing on a computer all day. I imagine if they continued to verbally torment her, that would still be oppressive (or at least abusive). But I'd think it would take more to claim she was genuinely oppressed besides her not be the one in charge making the decisions.
I think to be a true oppressor, one has to exercise enough authority that they transfer most of the shared workload to the one they're oppressing, and not carry it themselves. But I'm not sure how much distinction we make between terms like jerk, bully, oppressor, and abuser on a daily basis, and that may factor into this thought exercise here. Those terms probably each emphasize slightly different negative characteristics.
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