Why is not being an atheist my fault?

I work hard to get more educated in math and science and fail time and time again, while I see other people going to college at age 14 on full scholarships, seemingly with ease. My brain is just not as large as theirs, period. Nature favors them. So if being smarter than a normal person is a requirement for being an atheist why is it my fault that I still believe in God? Will not believing in God suddenly increase my mathematical ability? I doubt it. And would the atheist community respect me more if I expanded my mind by studying mathematics more without dropping my faith, or if I just said there was no God and gave up studying math altogether? I'll admit that the stereotypical person that follows religion has a lazy attitude towards increasing their scientific knowledge, but I haven't been one of them. For the past three years I've struggled to improve, and I think I have, but I've got a long way to go, and I do not think I will stop any time soon because I've found a lot of beauty in the truths of mathematics, just as atheists have.